Orange Relationship Style
According to the simple assessment you just completed, the majority of your relationship preferences are associated with the Orange Temperament as defined by the Four Lenses/Insight Personality System.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a primary temperament of Orange, but that you prefer to relate with others in Orange ways. This could be by choice, or it could reflect the way you were trained. Either way, you will be attracted to, and most comfortable with people who treat you the way you want to be treated.
When I search for companions and lovers, I look for playful people who enjoy spending time doing things with me while maintaining a high-spirited and fun-loving nature. I’m looking for cohorts and mates who can not only keep up with me but challenge me to do difficult things and overcome all obstacles. Even when working hard at serious tasks, they tend to turn the boring and dull into something appealing and absorbing. As a naturally happy person myself, I prefer to thoroughly enjoy life and not take anything too seriously. I also consider myself a very friendly and open person, but I am also selective about whom I let into my life. I like to surround myself with appealing people who make me laugh, have a sense of humor, and are fun to be around. I also enjoy playing games and making people smile with my silly antics or exaggerated stories. When it comes to my love life, I’m looking for a person who is sexy, energetic, fun to be around, and a little naughty.
Most people enjoy at least some level of thrill in their relationships. Of course, something that is thrilling to me may be absolutely horrendous to someone else. So how would I define thrill? It is a sudden, unexpected feeling of excitement or pleasure. It is also the state of experiencing enjoyment and gratification through as many physical senses as possible, as well as the emotional fulfillment, comfort, and satisfaction. It brings an adrenaline rush, a flush of excitement, a stimulating tingle, and sometimes even a physical trembling or quivering. Now these thrills don’t just have to happen in the sexual side of my life, but in as many aspects as possible. They can happen in my work life, in my home life, in my social life, in my intellectual life–anywhere. I want to be thrilled by music, movies, and other media. If something can be made more dramatic, sensational, and thrilling, then it should be.
Candor, also known as frankness or truthfulness, is the quality of communicating clearly and not mincing your words. People tend to beat around the bush if they like to avoid difficult conversations. Those who have the courage to say what needs to be said are appreciated by me. Being straightforward is an attractive and desirable quality, especially in an age of hypersensitivity where sincere voices are often censored or canceled for thinking differently. Like a moth to a flame, I am drawn to people who have the boldness to stand up for what they believe in. I’ll stay with them forever if they can do that and remain charming, captivating, charismatic, and considerate.
Flirting is an important part of my relationships. It is a way to keep the flame of love alive and for me to continue enjoying the relationship. It says, in a not-so-subtle way, that someone is interested in me, wants to spend time with me, and desires more intimacy. When someone I care about flirts with me, or I flirt with them, it makes me feel more sexy and attractive, even if we’ve been together for years. It is playful and teasing, but in a way that makes a positive impact on the relationship. It is a light-hearted sign that we’re still attracted to each other and are committed to making life fun and happy for each other. Even a flirtatious smile, a wonton gaze, or a discrete wink will improve your mood as it releases dopamine and norepinephrine unto your body. This will boost your sense of well-being, spark up some excitement, and give your relationship a shot of energy.
We all want and seek after approval from our family and friends. In fact, sometimes we only do the things we do because we want to feel a sense of acceptance and validation. Of course, this confirmation should be based on things of intrinsic truth and significant value, otherwise it is meaningless and leads to chaos. For instance, when I do something that merits praise, I would hope that my partner will let me know that they find it praiseworthy. That motivates me to do more of that sort of thing. I don’t want unconditional acceptance, zero boundaries, or rights without responsibilities—when you become the center of your own narcissistic universe that doesn’t work out well for anyone. But I do expect those around me to cut everyone some slack, show some flexibility, be generous with their affection, and exhibit as much patience as they can summon up. I am a flawed person, and need a partner who sees those flaws, but loves me anyway. I need someone who will lovingly encourage me to rise above my weaknesses and turn liabilities into assets.
Long-term commitments have always been a struggle for me because I enjoy newness and excitement in my relationships. As a teenager and young adult, I enjoyed the euphoric “thrill of the chase” that seemed to accompany new relationships. When existing relationships become stale and stagnant, I find that it is crucially important do something to shake it up a bit and keep things fresh, enticing, and rewarding. In my experience, dating must never stop, and both of us should constantly put forth the effort to treat each other with the same sense of allurement and seduction that brought us together in the first place. If I let me less-mature nature take over, I might leave the relationship to pursue thrills with someone else. But if I truly love someone, through good times and bad, I will put in the hard work to continue to chase after them for the rest of my life. Keeping relationships alive and thriving takes focused energy and optimism, but those characteristics happen to be some of my greatest strengths.
I am a free-spirited person, who wants the ability to get up and go and experience what life has to offer. I’m also willing to work hard so I can play hard, but if I am weighed down with too many rules, restrictions, prohibitions, or negativity, I am likely to push back. If I sense that one of my friends or loved ones are starting to get too heavy-handed, manipulative, controlling, or demanding, I’ll immediately call them out and advise them to dial it back. If they become a chronic offender, then I’ll sever the relationship. Life is too short to voluntarily surround yourself with dysfunctional people who drag others down in their selfish pursuit power, authority, or control.
Passion is the driving force behind everything I do. If I don’t feel a passion for someone or something, I quickly lose interest. The trick in any relationship is to keep your passions burning as hot as possible, which takes time and energy. This isn’t just about maintaining your affection for each other, which is vital to stay emotionally and physically connected, but other life passions as well. The key is to communicate your desires to each other. so that you stay in the groove of things and don’t start to feel lost, bored, or frustrated. Failing to regularly communicate your hopes, dreams, ambitions, and desires is a recipe for disaster because no one is a mind reader. You should always let each other know when something is bothering you, especially if it affects your commitment to each other.
We all have different tastes when it comes to entertainment. We all like some things, and dislike others. In our relationships, we’re lucky if we share some of those likes and dislikes with our partners. But we’re wise if we try to value some of the things that our partners value. If your focus is exclusively on the things that tickle your fancy, and not your partner’s, you are likely to find yourself in an unsatisfying short-term relationship. But if you value your relationship, you’ll learn how to enthusiastically spend some of your free time doing things that appeal to both of you and negotiate trade-offs where you both do things the other person likes to do. Entertainment, amusements, and diversions are all important component to a balanced, happy relationship. Of course, too much of a good thing can quickly morph into a bad thing. If you become so obsessed with play that you neglect each other, that’s bad. Nor should you neglect your work, your health, your intellectual development, your character development, or your social responsibilities, or other life aspects that make you a successful, well-rounded person. But when it is time to play, try to play together and entertain each other, and then do it with genuine passion, vigor, and energy.
There are many ways that you can spice up your relationship with me. One of the best ways to do this is to have fun adventures together. You don’t need to spend money on expensive vacations or exotic dinners, although that would be nice occasionally. The trick is to add the element of surprise and unpredictability to as many things as possible, but not in a bad way that generates too much stress or anxiety. The world is far too spectacular to be stuck in the mud repeating dull routines that have already been sucked dry of all their life. If you really want to take things to another level, then consider doing something that’s a little bit extreme, unconventional, comical, or dodgy. Bungee jumping or skydiving are certainly exciting but doing them naked might be even better! If budgets are tight, feel free to use your playful imagination to create new adventures at home and in the bedroom. However, if something goes horribly wrong, we should quickly forgive one another and lick our wounds.
How Oranges Energize Relationships
- Pushing boundaries, breaking records, and overcoming obstacles
- Constructing and assembling things with skill and dexterity
- Persuading others to adopt a different point-of-view
- Communicating with playful speech, laughter, and stories
- Promoting people, ideas, products, activities, or causes
- Taking chances and trusting their instincts and impulses
- Motivating others to spend energy and make things happen
- Taking initiative, living in the present, and seizing the day
- Displaying courage and generosity during challenging times
- Experiencing with enthusiasm whatever life has to offer
- Focusing on tactics, technique, and immediate results
- Making an dramatic impact on people and events
- Closing the big deal or scoring the winning point
- Adapting quickly and flexibly to sudden changes
- Negotiating and bargaining for the best deal
- Performing with finesse, grace, and style
- Bringing fun and excitement to the world
How Oranges Cause Stress
- Ignoring rules, policies, procedures
- Shooting from the hip and getting away with it
- Preparing in haste and excluding important details
- Failing to follow through with commitments
- Neglecting to report failures
- Appearing to be immature or playful
- Making decisions too quickly
- Abandoning responsibilities
- Being undisciplined
- Not planning ahead
- Being careless about details
- Being late or forgetting important events
- Making commitments for people without consulting them
- Being quick-tempered
- Going overboard with unjustified praise
- Being loud, aggressive, intimidating
- Refusing to accept blame or running away from problems
- Having a “flexible” conscience and bending the truth
- Acting restless and fidgety
- Doing too many unexpected things
- Being manipulative
- Undervaluing the contributions of others
How to Enhance Your Character
As an Orange, you probably possess some awesome qualities such as adaptability, candor, courage, optimism, and persuasiveness. These strengths come naturally to you and will help you find success. But have you maximized these virtues as well as the eight others that are associated with your temperament, or is there still room for improvement? And how are you doing at some of the other attributes that make people even more successful, such as concern, discipline, persistence, compassion, sincerity, tolerance, concentration, accuracy, efficiency, or foresight?
If you would like to measure how much virtue you currently possess, then please complete the Maturity Assessment on this website. It is free to you as part of your subscription. Then, if you want to work on your weaknesses and turn them into strengths, check out the 7, 13-minute Gaining Virtue lessons on each of the 52 virtues. Before long, you will be even more successful!