Green Relationship Style

According to the simple assessment you just completed, the majority of your relationship preferences are associated with the Green Temperament as defined by the Four Lenses/Insight Personality System.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have a primary temperament of Green, but that you prefer to relate with others in Green ways. This could be by choice, or it could reflect the way you were trained. Either way, you will be attracted to, and most comfortable with people who treat you the way you want to be treated.

Relationship Characteristics

A symbiotic collaboration is one in which both partners benefit from their relationship with each other. The term has been used for a wide variety of associations, including plants and animals, such as mutualistic relationships, in which the animal benefits by protection and food from the plant, and parasitical relationships, where the animal benefits by consuming nutrients or minerals from the plant. The term is also used for associations between two species of organisms in which neither benefits. This is called a commensal relationship. In this case, the organisms are not considered to be mutualistic because neither profit from the association. In my relationships with others, I obviously prefer the win-win symbiotic collaboration, where we both bring something to the relationship that the other needs, and when we combine our efforts, it becomes synergistic, and we create something that is more than the sum of our constituent parts. 

I view the world through the lens of scientific investigator. I love to observe, experiment, and interact with the world in a logical, calculated manner. This includes my associations with other people. I take things slowly, step-by-step, and carefully observe how the subject reacts to different scenarios. After I’ve collected enough data to determine if we’re compatible, and we both agree, then I’ll instigate and commit to a relationship. I’d prefer to have an inquisitive partner who also likes to experiment along with me, but would be content with someone who doesn’t mind my exploration and eccentricities. Because I’ve previously proven that they are a trusted and valuable partner, after I’ve had a chance to analyze my findings, I like to regurgitate my thoughts to them and see if they can offer additional insights or spot any flaws in my conclusions. My favorite times are when we can learn and discuss things together.

If I’m contemplating a relationship with somebody who doesn’t show any signs of competence, composure, and confidence, then I am likely to move on. The aptitude and willingness to calmly work on something until you develop mastery in it is a highly attractive quality. It tells me I can have confidence that this person is willing to use their mental willpower to control their behaviors and work towards their goals. It doesn’t necessarily matter what those goals are, just as long as they are able to successfully and efficiently manage their life and not let irrationality or emotions run amuck. I don’t expect my partner to do things perfectly—no one can, but I will try to help them become a better person. 

Building rational relationships is important to me. That means I don’t just focus on physical appearances, which always degrades with time, but to their mind and character. And the way we do that is through openly communicating our thoughts and aspirations to each other. I initially focus on the things we share in common, like books, movies, games, music, politics, and religion. It is important that we both have some shared core values that aren’t likely to change over time, so we can both be working towards the same ends, regardless of the disparate means or paths we take to reach them. Taking the time to listen to me fully explain my crazy ideas before providing considered and objective judgment, is crucial, because I want our relationship to be based on mutual respect, where we carefully consider each other’s ideas. Rather than proffering a superficial, hastily-offered agreement that seems condescending or dismissive, I’d much rather receive some reasoned resistance—playing the devil’s advocate definitely has its place and time.

As someone who values competence and expertise, I work hard to become as much of an expert as possible. When I put my mind to do something, I often get obsessed with it and give it more attention than most people. When I finally accomplish something that is noteworthy, I love it when my partner shows signs of appreciation for my efforts, if not admiration and respect. We all like authentic accolades from time-to-time, especially when they are earned; but when they come from those who are closest to you, they are far more meaningful. That is just the type of encouragement I need to keep pursuing improvement.

Genius comes in many forms, such as the ability to innovate, to create things, or to solve tough problems. It covers any domain, from art to science, from the theoretical to the practical, and everything in between. What sets apart geniuses is their ability to produce an output that no one else can—a product or service that people prize. I respect that sort of genius wherever I find it and am always on the lookout for the work of genuine prodigies.  But genius is more than innate talent or extraordinary gifts: it is the ability to turn an idea or yourself into a valuable and useful tool to those around you. I crave the stroke of genius, which by definition, comes when you least expect it. It happens when you’re just standing there, minding your own business, and then suddenly you get an idea so brilliant that it’s like a slap in the face. A shot to the gut. You gasp for breath and try not to throw up. And then you realize that you can’t stop thinking about it. You have to write it down or share it with anyone who will listen.

Stupid thoughts and behaviors annoy me. And by stupidity, I mean repeatedly acting in ways that don’t make sense, defy logic, or are completely foolish. Stupidity has more to do with the lack of sound judgement than it does with a lack of intelligence. Smart people do incredibly stupid and immature things all the time: myself included. That’s why I am constantly trying to keep my ineptitudes covered up and hidden away from the world until I’ve had a chance to turn these weaknesses into strengths; only then will I let the public see the finished product. Because I’ve accepted the realistic fact that examples of stupidity will always permeate our society, I am earnestly trying to not let it affect me so much and am constantly striving to stay calm, cool, and collected. I’ve also learned that what I term “stupid” someone else is likely to call “brilliant.”  When I experience this conflict of judgment, I tend to clam up—not because I am summarily dismissing the other person’s verdict, but because I may have made a stupid mistake and need to reevaluate my conclusions. 

I’m not a mind-reader, nor do I expect others to read my thoughts; indeed, that would be a very scary thing. I’m also a bit baffled by the subtle nuances of body language. If you want me to understand something, you need to use words, pictures, and examples. If it isn’t clearly expressed, I’ll probably respond with a bit of interrogative until I have gathered sufficient information to form some tentative conclusions. Don’t be afraid of my questions or arguments, I’m simply trying to understand. Then if you want my honest opinion, just ask for it—I will likely have one, but have learned through sad experience that some people don’t really care what you think, they just want someone to understand their experience. But when someone chooses to express their thoughts with me, especially my loved ones, I genuinely feel honored and will try to be a good listener. Freely sharing thoughts is a very intimate thing and not taking the time to regularly do it will usually foment feelings of frustration, anxiety, anger, and loneliness.

I love it when I have a partner who is always trying to make things better. It doesn’t matter whether it is a meal, our home, our sex life—investing the effort to make macro and micro adjustments in the name of enhancement is a gift of love. Furthermore, so is providing new insights, new theories, new perspectives, and new data. This constant quest of further enlightenment is one of the reasons I finally decided to partner-up with someone, because they can take me where I haven’t been before or where I couldn’t go without their assistance. I am constantly learning new things from my companions that make life so much more interesting and meaningful.

If my romantic partner wanted to give me a good gift, a gift that tugs at my heart and makes me fall in love with them over and over again, they would give me opportunities to be more imaginative, develop credibility, and consume high quantities and qualities of information. Sometimes this is takes the form of giving me space and time to do these things on my own, but at other times, the best of times, it is participating in these exciting and titillating activities side-by-side. The best way I can describe true love is to work together to create something new—whether it is a new little person, a new idea, a new composition, or a new innovation.

How Greens Enhance Relationships

  • Examining all facets before making decisions
  • Remaining calm, cool, and collected in stressful situations
  • Diagnosing problems and prescribing efficient remedies
  • Thinking scientifically, logically, and rationally
  • Identifying weaknesses, flaws, and potential problems
  • Seeing the big picture and visualizing possibilities
  • Interpreting and explaining ideas to others
  • Pushing themselves to improve and evolve
  • Researching and analyzing complex information
  • Strategizing and engineering optimal solutions
  • Asking perceptive and precise questions with genuine curiosity
  • Increasing the effectiveness and efficiency of systems
  • Creating well-reasoned and concise arguments
  • Acting independently, privately, and quietly
  • Assimilating the ideas of others and synthesizing new ideas
  • Being efficient, pragmatic, and reasonable
  • Bringing innovation and expertise to the world

How Greens Cause Stress

  • Taking too much time to make decisions
  • Getting too involved with work or hobbies
  • Asking too many questions
  • Not being sensitive to feelings
  • Sounding arrogant or overly confident
  • Not expressing feelings
  • Being too independent
  • Not being sociable
  • Spending too much time alone
  • Not going with the flow
  • Living in the future
  • Being too focused and absent-minded
  • Spending too much time with stats and analysis
  • Doing several things at the same time
  • Over-extending themselves
  • Being overly critical, perfectionistic, cynical
  • Never finishing a plan because of constant improvements
  • Using technical terms or jargon
  • Being wordy or redundant
  • Being condescending, flippant, sarcastic
  • Being too abstract or complicated
  • Being impersonal and indifferent
  • Trying to solve the problems of others
  • Focusing on minor inconsistencies or flaws
  • Being competitive when intellectually challenged
  • Inability to set realistic priorities and time frames
  • Not letting go of impractical ideas
  • Not caring about what others think

How to Enhance Your Character

If you are a Green, you probably possess some awesome qualities such as accuracy,  composure, confidence, curiosity, and foresight. These strengths come naturally to you and will help you find success. But have you maximized these virtues as well as the eight others that are associated with your temperament, or is there still room for improvement? And how are you doing at some of the other attributes that make people even more successful, such as concern, discipline, persistence, compassion, sincerity, tolerance, adaptability, courage, optimism, or persuasiveness? 

If you would like to measure how much virtue you currently possess, then please complete the Maturity Assessment on this website. It is free to you as part of your subscription. Then, if you want to work on your weaknesses and turn them into strengths, check out the 7, 13-minute Gaining Virtue lessons on each of the 52 virtues. Before long, you will be even more successful!