Unlock the Secrets of Anyone's Personality with These Simple Questions

Learn the secret to uncovering someone’s true personality through strategic questioning. Discover how to decode their innermost values, attitudes and behaviors.

As humans, we are naturally curious about each other. We want to know who someone is, what makes them tick, and what they value. Understanding someone’s personality can help us build better relationships and work more effectively with others. Fortunately, there are several ways to discover someone’s personality, and one effective method is by asking questions.

The Art of Questioning

Asking questions is an art form that requires skill and practice. It involves being present, listening actively, and being curious without judgment. When done effectively, questioning can reveal a wealth of information about someone’s personality. On the other hand, if it is done ineffectively, the individual being questioned may feel as though they are being interrogated, leading to discomfort and unease. This can be especially problematic when attempting to determine someone’s personality, as it may cause them to become defensive and less likely to provide truthful answers. Therefore, it is crucial to approach the questioning process with sensitivity and care, creating a safe and non-judgmental environment to encourage honest and open responses.

“We live in the world our questions create.”
David Cooperrider

Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a yes or no answer. They allow the person to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, revealing insights into their personality. These types of questions often start with “what,” “how,” or “why,” and allow for a wider range of answers. Examples of open-ended questions include:

What do you value most in life?
What are your biggest strengths and weaknesses?
How would you describe your ideal day?
What are your long-term goals in life?
Can you tell me about a hobby or interest that you’re passionate about?
What do you value most in a friendship?
How do you handle stress or difficult situations?
What do you think is the most important quality for success?
Can you describe a time when you had to make a tough decision?
What motivates you to keep going when things get tough?
How do you approach making decisions?
How do you prefer to solve problems?
How do you react to unexpected changes or challenges?
How do you typically communicate with others?
What are some qualities you look for in a friend or partner?
What do you like to do in your free time?
What is something you wish you could change about yourself?
What is your approach to planning and organizing?
What kind of work environment do you thrive in?
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
How have your interests and passions changed over time?
What are some of your proudest accomplishments?
What are some of your core beliefs or philosophies?
What are some of your long-term career goals?
How do you like to receive feedback or criticism?

“The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.”
Thomas Berger

Hypothetical Questions

Hypothetical questions are questions that ask someone to imagine a scenario and describe how they would respond. They can reveal how someone thinks and approaches problems. If someone gives a simple answer that doesn’t reveal anything significant, don’t hesitate to follow-up with the golden question, “Why?” Examples of hypothetical questions include:

If you could only have one form of entertainment for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you had to get a tattoo, where would you get it and what would it be?
If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
If you could have any type of education or degree, what would it be?
If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?
If you could eliminate one bad habit from your life, what would it be?
If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
If you could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?
If you had to design and teach a college class, what subject would you teach?
If you were to start a business, what would you do?
If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
If you could choose to do something extraordinarily well, what skill would you pick?
If you had the opportunity to work on one local community problem, what would it be?
If you could time travel to your future self, what advice would you give yourself?
If you could only keep three possessions, what would they be?
If you could write your own eulogy, what would you say?
If you were independently wealthy, how would you spend your time?
If you could hold any public office, which would you choose?

“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”
George Carlin

Active Listening

Asking questions is just one part of discovering someone’s personality. Active listening is equally important. Active listening involves being fully present, engaged, and responsive to what someone is saying. It involves listening not just to the words, but to the tone, body language, and emotion behind them. Here are some tips to make sure you do it correctly.

Be mindful of your tone. Pay attention to your tone of voice and body language when asking questions. Avoid sounding demanding or aggressive, and try to maintain a relaxed and friendly demeanor. Lots of smiles are always in good taste.
Listen attentively. When someone is sharing a story, it’s important to attentively listen and engage with what they’re saying. Show interest and ask follow-up questions to show that you’re invested in their story and want to learn more.
Look for themes. As you listen to someone’s stories, look for themes or patterns that emerge. For example, do they tend to tell stories about overcoming challenges, or do they often focus on funny or lighthearted moments? These themes can give you insight into their personality traits and values.
Pay attention to their emotions. The emotions someone expresses as they tell a story can also reveal a lot about their personality. Do they seem passionate or enthusiastic about certain topics? Do they become emotional when talking about certain experiences? These can be clues to their values and priorities.
Watch their body language. Crossed arms or a furrowed brow may indicate defensiveness or anger, while a relaxed posture and open gestures may suggest comfort and ease. Leaning forward, maintaining eye contact, and nodding along can indicate interest and involvement, while slouching or looking away may suggest boredom or disinterest. Standing tall, making eye contact, and using expansive gestures can indicate confidence, while avoiding eye contact or hunching over may suggest insecurity or discomfort. Someone who frequently touches their face or fidgets may be nervous or anxious, while someone who speaks with their hands and uses expressive gestures may be more outgoing and animated.
Let them ask questions. Turn the conversation around and give the other person a chance to ask you some questions by saying something like, “Do you have any questions for me?” By giving the other person a chance to ask questions, you can create a more balanced and engaging conversation, where both parties are contributing and sharing their perspectives. This can help to build rapport and trust, and can also lead to more interesting and meaningful conversations.
Be patient. It’s important to be patient and allow the other person to take their time to answer or ask questions, and share thoughts. Avoid interrupting or rushing them, and try to be an active and engaged listener by providing thoughtful responses and feedback.

“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.”
Carl Rogers

Conclusion

Discovering someone’s personality is a process that requires time, patience, and active engagement. Asking questions is a powerful tool for uncovering insights into someone’s personality. By using open-ended and hypothetical questions, we can gain a better understanding of who someone is and what they value. Active listening is equally important to fully appreciate and understand the insights uncovered through questioning.