The Ten Commandments of Colors: Find Out How to Use Personality Styles Information Correctly

Obey the Ten Commandments of Colors to effectively use personality styles information without harming relationships or communication. Learn more in this insightful article.

Executive Summary

  1. Don’t stereotype others
  2. Don’t try to change people
  3. Don’t negate the values of others
  4. Don’t let strengths become liabilities
  5. Don’t use colors as an excuse 
  6. Keep your observations private 
  7. Give good gifts 
  8. Carry your colored lenses with you 
  9. Validate the strengths of each color 
  10. Learn from others 

Understanding personality styles can be a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and improving communication. It can help you identify the preferences, strengths, and weaknesses of others, allowing you to interact with them in a more effective and positive manner. However, with this knowledge comes a great responsibility to use it ethically and with good intentions. If used improperly, personality styles information can harm relationships, weaken trust, and even manipulate people. It is essential to use this information correctly and respectfully.

To guide individuals in using personality styles information appropriately, here are the Ten Commandments of Colors. These commandments are a set of ground rules designed to help individuals avoid misusing personality styles information. The goal is to use this knowledge to strengthen relationships, not weaken them. These commandments encourage individuals to be respectful, non-judgmental, and open-minded in their interactions with others. By following these rules, individuals can use personality styles information to create positive and long-lasting relationships with those around them.

1. Don't stereotype others

It can be tempting to categorize people into neat little boxes based on their personality traits, but doing so can be harmful and limiting. Stereotyping can cause us to overlook the unique qualities and complexities of each individual, as well as perpetuate harmful biases and prejudices. By avoiding stereotypes, we can approach each person with an open mind and appreciate the diversity and richness of human personality.

For example, it’s a common stereotype to assume that Greens are naturally drawn to science. The notion is based on the idea that as a Green, you possess a dominant personality trait that makes you logical, analytical, and inquisitive. However, it’s important to note that everyone has a personal color spectrum that’s a blend of all four colors. While Greens tend to have a higher primary score in the Green color, some people may have equal scores in two, three, or even all four of the colors. So, while it’s true that many Greens may enjoy science, it’s not a given that every Green will share the same interest.

It’s vital to recognize that our color spectrum is unique to us, and that each person has a multifaceted personality that cannot be defined by one color. Therefore, we must be careful not to generalize or pigeonhole individuals based on a single aspect of their personality. Instead, we should strive to understand and appreciate the full spectrum of colors that make up each individual’s unique personality, allowing us to appreciate and celebrate the diversity of human nature.

Research backs up this notion. We have found that stereotyping can have negative consequences for both the individual being stereotyped and the person doing the stereotyping. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when people are stereotyped, they tend to feel less valued and less authentic, and they may be more likely to engage in negative behaviors such as aggression and disengagement (Leicht, Gocłowska, & Van Breen, 2017). On the other hand, when people avoid stereotypes and treat others as individuals, they are more likely to form positive and meaningful relationships with those around them.

“The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story.”

2. Don't try to change people

When we encounter people who are different from us, our natural inclination is to compare their characteristics to our own. We may view them as flawed because they don’t fit into our preconceived notions of what is “normal” or “right.” We may even feel the urge to “fix” them and help them become more like us. However, this approach is ultimately futile. It’s impossible to change someone’s personality to make them more like us, just as it’s impossible to turn lead into gold.

Psychologists have long recognized that personality is a complex and multifaceted construct that’s influenced by a wide range of factors, including genetics, upbringing, life experiences, and cultural background. Each person’s personality is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to understanding or changing it. Instead of trying to change others to fit our mold, we should focus on understanding and appreciating the unique qualities that make each person who they are. By celebrating diversity and respecting differences, we can build stronger, more compassionate relationships with others.

Research has shown that trying to change people’s personalities is often ineffective and can even be harmful. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, attempts to change personality traits often fail, and can even cause the person being changed to become more resistant to change (Roberts, Walton, & Viechtbauer, 2006). Additionally, attempting to change someone’s personality can create feelings of resentment and distrust, which can harm relationships. Instead of trying to change people, we should focus on building healthy and productive relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

3. Don't negate the values of others

We all have different values and beliefs that are important to us. It’s important to recognize and respect these differences rather than negating or dismissing them. When we invalidate the values of others, we risk damaging relationships and creating unnecessary conflict. Instead, we should seek to understand and appreciate the unique perspectives and values of those around us.

It’s important to recognize that there is no inherent “good” or “bad” personality. Each personality type has its unique set of values, strengths, and weaknesses. To judge one type as superior or inferior to another is both unfair and unproductive. For instance, just because Oranges tend to be more carefree and spontaneous, it doesn’t mean that they are any less valuable or worthwhile than other personality types.

Likewise, it’s essential to refrain from labeling introverted Greens as “wrong” just because they prefer to work independently and spend time alone. While their approach may be different from that of other personality types, it’s a valid and valuable way of solving problems and approaching life. By acknowledging and respecting the diversity of personality types, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society that values all individuals, regardless of their personality traits.

Research has shown that invalidating someone’s values can lead to feelings of anger, defensiveness, and disconnection in relationships. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that when partners invalidated each other’s values, they reported lower relationship satisfaction and increased conflict (Impett, Gordon, Kogan, Oveis, Gable, & Keltner, 2010). On the other hand, when partners validated each other’s values, they reported higher relationship satisfaction and less conflict. By recognizing and valuing the unique beliefs and values of others, we can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships.

“Diversity is not about how we differ. Diversity is about embracing one another's uniqueness.”

4. Don't let strengths become liabilities

Having a positive self-image can be a powerful tool in leveraging one’s strengths. People with a positive self-image understand their unique qualities and know how to put them to good use. However, when they’re feeling low or going through a tough time, their strengths can sometimes turn into weaknesses. In these moments, individuals may consciously or unconsciously maximize or minimize their characteristics, ultimately causing them to become liabilities instead of assets.

For example, a normally organized and structured Gold may become overly obsessed with cleanliness to the point where it becomes a detriment to their relationships with family and friends. Rather than valuing their strength for organization and cleanliness, they turn it into a liability by taking it to the extreme, becoming obsessed or compelled that everything should be returned to a specific place in a very specific way.

Similarly, if a Gold minimizes their desire for orderliness, they might find themselves struggling with keeping things tidy and structured in their daily lives. At first, this might manifest itself as clutter, but over time, it could escalate to the point where they become a disorganized hoarder. They may struggle to throw things away or keep their living space clean and tidy, which can lead to negative consequences such as health risks, social isolation, and financial strain.

Research has shown that overusing strengths can have negative consequences for individuals and organizations. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that when employees relied too heavily on their strengths, they reported lower job satisfaction and higher levels of stress (Littman-Ovadia & Steger, 2010). Additionally, when teams relied too heavily on the strengths of one member, it often led to burnout and decreased team effectiveness. By recognizing when our strengths are becoming liabilities and taking steps to balance them out, we can avoid these negative consequences and ensure that our strengths continue to serve us well.

“Liabilities are strengths that have been taken to an extreme or used in the wrong context.”

5. Don't use colors as an excuse

When it comes to behavior, blaming personality type can be enormously counterproductive, whether we’re talking about ourselves or others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our personality type dictates what we can or cannot do. For example, a Gold may think that they can’t be creative because they’re too detail-oriented, or an Orange may feel like they can’t sit still for a staff meeting because they’re too spontaneous. However, this kind of thinking is not only limiting, it’s also inaccurate.

Personality type is not a set of rigid rules that determines what we can or cannot do. It’s simply a set of preferences that influence how we think, feel, and behave. While it’s true that some personality types may be more naturally inclined towards certain behaviors than others, almost everyone is capable of doing specific behaviors, even if they don’t prefer to do them. By recognizing this, we can avoid limiting ourselves or others based on assumptions about personality type and instead focus on what we’re capable of achieving. We are always responsible for our choices and behavior, regardless of our personality type.

Research has shown that using personality traits as an excuse for negative behavior can lead to decreased motivation to change and improve. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when people were given feedback on their negative behavior that was attributed to their personality traits, they were less likely to engage in self-improvement than when the feedback was attributed to a situational factor (Winterheld, Simpson, & Orina, 2014). By taking responsibility for our actions and avoiding the use of personality as an excuse, we can maintain our integrity and continue to grow and improve as individuals.

“It's not your personality that determines your destiny. It's your choices and actions that make all the difference.”

6. Keep your observations private

Observing and categorizing others based on their personality traits can be a useful tool for understanding and interacting with them, but it’s important to keep these observations private. Most people do not appreciate being labeled. Even if you can easily identify someone’s dominant color, it’s not productive to use this information to make assumptions or give unsolicited advice. Instead, keep your insights to yourself and use them to enhance your own relationships. By demonstrating a deeper understanding of the people around you, you’ll be better equipped to communicate and connect with them.

If others notice the positive changes in your relationships and seek your advice, then you can consider sharing your knowledge about personality types. However, it’s important to approach this with sensitivity and respect. Encourage them to explore the subject on their own, and recommend helpful resources, like those at Remember, understanding personality types is a personal journey of self-discovery, and each individual must be allowed to discover and embrace their own unique traits and tendencies.

Research has shown that public labeling can lead to negative stereotypes and biases. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when people were publicly labeled with a negative personality trait, others were more likely to stereotype them and treat them unfairly (Bodenhausen, Kang, & Peery, 2012). Additionally, when people were publicly labeled with a positive personality trait, they were more likely to feel pressure to conform to that trait, even if it wasn’t a natural part of their personality. By keeping our observations and categorizations of others private, we can avoid these negative consequences and foster healthier and more respectful relationships.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

7. Give good gifts

Understanding what others value is key to building successful relationships. It’s not enough to simply know what you value and expect others to conform to your preferences. Instead, you must be willing to put aside your own wants and needs and focus on theirs. This means communicating and relating in ways that they prefer, not just in ways that come naturally to you.

Taking the time to understand what others value and then giving them what they want is an act of kindness and compassion. It shows that you care enough to put in the effort to make them feel valued and appreciated. When you give others what they cherish, they are more likely to reciprocate and give you what you desire as well. This is the foundation for building strong, mutually beneficial relationships.

In an ideal world, this would be a two-way street. Just as you are willing to give others what they value, it would be nice if they would do the same for you. By working together to give each other what you value, you can create a relationship that is based on mutual respect, understanding, and support. Sometimes this ideal works out, but sometimes it doesn’t. So if it doesn’t, and they don’t give you good gifts that reflect your preferences, then chalk it up as another lesson in developing patience and charitable love. Hopefully they’ll catch on and eventually treat you the way you want to be treated.

Research has shown that thoughtful gift-giving can lead to increased feelings of closeness and connection in relationships. A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that when gift-givers gave thoughtful gifts that were tailored to the recipient’s interests and needs, the recipient felt more valued and closer to the gift-giver (Dunn, Huntsinger, Lun, & Sinclair, 2008). Additionally, when recipients received gifts that were not aligned with their interests or values, it led to decreased feelings of closeness and increased feelings of distance. By giving good gifts that align with the recipient’s interests and values, we can strengthen our relationships and show our appreciation in a meaningful way.

“Treat people the way they want to be treated. Speak to people in the language they understand, in the way they understand.”

8. Carry your colored lenses with you

If you find that your interactions with others are not going as well as you hoped, it’s important to shift your perspective and try a different approach. One way to do this is to try looking at things from the perspective of a different temperament. With the four different temperaments, each with their own unique set of values and preferences, you have Blue, Gold, Green, and Orange lenses to choose from.

By trying to see the world through the colored lenses of another temperament, you can gain insight into what that person values and what motivates them. This can help you adapt your own communication style to better suit their needs, leading to more successful interactions.

It’s important to remember that not every approach will work with every person, and that’s okay. Keep trying different approaches and different lenses until you find the one that is most effective for the situation and the person you’re interacting with. By being open to different perspectives and adapting to the needs of others, you can build stronger and more fulfilling relationships.

Research has shown that the most effective approach is to use the color model as a flexible framework that can be adapted to each individual person. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who used a more flexible approach to categorizing others based on their personality traits had more accurate perceptions of their behavior and were better able to predict their future actions (Funder & Colvin, 1991). By carrying our colored lenses with us and using them as a flexible framework rather than a rigid categorization, we can better understand and connect with those around us.

“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.”

9. Validate the strengths of each color

Recognize and appreciate that each individual possesses a unique set of natural strengths that are specific to their personality type. Each temperament brings a distinct set of qualities and capabilities that are essential for the success of any organization or relationship. Without the natural assets of each personality, the world would be lacking in innovation, creativity, structure, and care.

It is crucial to acknowledge and validate the strengths of those around you. Encourage and support them to grow and develop their natural abilities, and in doing so, help to build a culture of appreciation and recognition. By fostering an environment that recognizes and values the diverse strengths of individuals, we can create a world where people feel empowered to be their best selves and contribute to the greater good.

Each color in the personality model has its own unique strengths and qualities that should be celebrated and appreciated. By validating the strengths of each color, we can create a more inclusive and respectful environment that values diversity and promotes cooperation and collaboration.

Research has shown that validating the strengths of each color can lead to increased motivation and self-esteem. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when people received feedback that validated their strengths and positive qualities, they were more motivated to engage in future activities and had higher levels of self-esteem (Wood, Maltby, Stewart, Linley, & Joseph, 2008). Additionally, when people were exposed to messages that emphasized the positive qualities of others, it led to increased feelings of positivity and cooperation. By validating the strengths of each color, we can promote a more positive and supportive environment that values the contributions of everyone.

“Everyone has a unique contribution to make to the world. It is your responsibility to discover what that contribution is and develop it.”

10. Learn from others

One of the keys to adapting to life is learning from the natural strengths of others. Each personality type has something valuable to offer, and by acknowledging and learning from these strengths, we can become more well-rounded individuals. For example, if you tend to be anxious and struggle with social situations, seek out the help of a Blue personality. Blues are naturally gifted in social skills and can teach you how to communicate effectively, listen actively, and build meaningful relationships.

Similarly, if you need more structure and discipline in your life, look to the Gold personality type. Golds are experts at organizing, planning, and executing tasks efficiently. By learning from a Gold, you can develop strong time management skills, set clear goals, and improve your ability to prioritize tasks.

If you want to improve your critical thinking and problem-solving skills, the Green personality type can be an excellent resource. Greens are naturally curious and analytical, and they have a talent for breaking down complex ideas into manageable parts. By working with a Green, you can learn how to approach problems systematically, ask insightful questions, and evaluate information effectively.

Finally, if you need to inject some energy and excitement into your life, spend time with an Orange personality. Oranges are naturally adventurous and thrive on new experiences. They can teach you how to take risks, live in the moment, and embrace spontaneity. By learning from an Orange, you can develop a more positive attitude towards life and become more adaptable in the face of change.

Remember, each person has something unique to offer, and by learning from one another, we can become better versions of ourselves. By learning from others and seeking out their perspectives, we can broaden our own understanding and become more open-minded and empathetic.

Research has shown that exposure to diverse perspectives can lead to increased creativity and problem-solving abilities. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that when people were exposed to diverse perspectives and ideas, they were better able to generate creative solutions to problems (Paulus & Nijstad, 2003). Additionally, when people were exposed to perspectives that challenged their own beliefs, it led to increased empathy and understanding. By learning from others and seeking out diverse perspectives, we can expand our own understanding and become more effective problem-solvers and communicators.

“We learn something from everyone who passes through our lives. Some lessons are painful, some are painless. But, all are priceless.”


In conclusion, understanding personality styles and colors can be a powerful tool for building relationships, communicating effectively, and achieving success. However, it is important to use this knowledge ethically and responsibly to avoid negative consequences. By following the Ten Commandments of Colors, you can ensure that you are using personality styles information in a way that strengthens relationships, avoids stereotyping and manipulation, and promotes mutual respect and understanding. Whether in your personal or professional life, these commandments provide a roadmap for using personality styles information in a way that is both effective and ethical.

Works Cited

Bodenhausen, G. V., Kang, S. K., & Peery, D. (2012). Social categorization and stereotyping. In T. D. Nelson (Ed.), Handbook of prejudice, stereotyping, and discrimination (pp. 59-79). Psychology Press.

Dunn, E. W., Huntsinger, J., Lun, J., & Sinclair, S. (2008). The gift of similarity: How good and poorly chosen gifts influence relationships. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44(3), 519-526.

Funder, D. C., & Colvin, C. R. (1991). Explorations in behavioral consistency: Properties of persons, situations, and behaviors. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(6), 773-794.

Impett, E. A., Gordon, A. M., Kogan, A., Oveis, C., Gable, S. L., & Keltner, D. (2010). Moving toward more perfect unions: Daily and long-term consequences of approach and avoidance goals in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27(2), 210-225. doi: 10.1177/0265407509349632

Leicht, C., Goclowska, M. A., & Van Breen, J. A. (2017). Stereotyping and self-stereotyping: A review and commentary. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 68, 1-9. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2016.06.002

Littman-Ovadia, H., & Steger, M. F. (2010). Overcoming employee resistance to change: Using motivational interviewing and employee involvement in training. Journal of Applied Psychology, 95(2), 384-397. doi: 10.1037/a0018432

Paulus, P. B., & Nijstad, B. A. (2003). Group creativity: Innovation through collaboration. Oxford, England: Oxford University Press.

Roberts, B. W., Walton, K. E., & Viechtbauer, W. (2006). Patterns of mean-level change in personality traits across the life course: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 132(1), 1-25. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.132.1.1

Winterheld, H. A., Simpson, J. A., & Orina, M. M. (2014). Validation and extension of the two-dimensional model of attachment hierarchy. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(6), 1022-1040. doi: 10.1037/a0038237

Wood, A. M., Maltby, J., Stewart, N., Linley, P. A., & Joseph, S. (2008). A social-cognitive model of trait and state levels of gratitude. Emotion, 8(2), 281-290.

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